With Valentine’s Day on the horizon, the topic of relationships features more heavily in the media, but what if the best relationship is the one you have with yourself?

Everything from old-school Disney to modern day rom-coms, classic novels, and even the celebrity gossip scene, shows us a version of relationships that we’re somehow expected to follow - finding that one true love and living happily ever after.

It’s no wonder, therefore, that when we don’t experience that, we can feel like we have somehow failed.

But I wonder, what if we’re supposed to be our own great relationship? After all, we’re the only person we’re with our entire life.

So how can we build a better relationship with our self?

I’d invite you to think about how you speak to yourself, firstly.

• What is your internal dialogue like?
• Do you approach challenges you face with kindness and compassion, or anger and annoyance?

And now think about how you talk to your best friend, especially when they are dealing with an issue.

• Do you rub salt into the wound and tell them how stupid, pathetic, and what a loser they are?
• Or do you approach them with empathy, and remind them that they are a good person?

Now think about how different the two scenarios were.

• Do you talk to yourself the way you would talk to your best friend, or do you talk to yourself as if a bully was having a go at you?
• And how did talking like that to yourself make you feel?

Being aware of how you talk to yourself can reveal deeper thoughts about how we feel about who we are and how we approach the world. Often, we’re left feeling inferior to others, who seemingly have it all together and live a picture perfect life on social media.

However, when we dig deeper, we might realise that instead of looking outwards, the biggest change can happen when we look inwards.

Counselling can provide a safe space to explore this in a confidential environment with a qualified therapist. Get in touch if you’d like to book in a free 10-minute initial consultation.

I offer sessions to suit your schedule, with telephone, online, and in-person options in early morning, evening, and weekend appointments from my counselling room in Conwy, North Wales.